Most coparenting conflict isn't about the schedule or the money — it's about communication. How fast does one parent have to respond? What method? When does "keeping me informed" become "surveillance"? A clear communication section in the parenting plan answers these questions in advance.
Except in an emergency, the parents shall communicate through Kidtime — their shared calendar, messaging, and expense-tracking application. Each parent shall respond to the other's questions and requests within 2 days, all communication shall remain respectful, and the children shall never be used as messengers between the parents.
A sample provision — the assistant tailors the hours, names, and specifics to your family as you build your plan.
Communication rules in a parenting plan cover three relationships: parent-to-parent (about logistics and decisions), parent-to-child during the other parent's time (FaceTime, phone calls, texts), and child-to-parent in emergencies. The rules specify preferred channels (email, text, dedicated coparenting app), response windows (24 hours for routine, 2 hours for urgent), conduct expectations (BIFF method or similar), and what topics belong in writing vs. real-time conversation.
Most modern parenting plans designate a single primary channel — increasingly a coparenting app like Kidtime — for all routine communication. This creates a single record, which matters in high-conflict situations and in any future court review. The plan defines what "urgent" means (an injury, a missed pickup) and gives those messages a faster response window. Child-to-parent communication during the other parent's time has scheduled call windows (usually one short call per evening) and a no-interference clause (the other parent doesn't listen in or interrupt).
When you draft this section of your parenting plan, make sure it covers each of these points. Skipping any of them is the most common reason this clause becomes a source of conflict later.
Kidtime's AI assistant asks about your family and writes each section of your plan for you — just talk it through. No blank page, no legal jargon, no stress.
A dedicated coparenting messaging app (like Kidtime) is the modern best practice. It creates a single permanent record (which matters legally), tone-meter features de-escalate hot messages before sending, and unlike personal text it can't be lost in everyday conversation. Email works as a fallback. Mixed-channel communication (some texts, some emails, some calls) is the worst pattern — important things slip through cracks.
BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm — a coparenting communication framework developed by family-law attorney Bill Eddy. The idea is to keep messages short, factual, polite, and decisive. BIFF messages don't engage with provocations, don't escalate emotional content, and stick to logistics. Many parenting plans now reference BIFF explicitly as the expected communication style between coparents.
Most parenting plans set a 24-48 hour response window for routine messages and a 2-hour window for urgent matters (injury, missed pickup, schedule emergency). The response window starts when the message is sent, not when it's read. "I didn't see it" generally isn't an acceptable defense if your plan specifies a checking frequency.
Most parenting plans include a no-interference clause that explicitly prohibits this. The kid should be able to talk privately to the other parent without supervision (unless the kid is too young to use a phone unattended, in which case the parent helps with logistics but doesn't participate in the conversation). Listening in is one of the most common high-conflict patterns — write it out of the plan explicitly.
If communication is being used to harass rather than coparent, your parenting plan probably needs to be amended to specify a single permanent-record channel (a coparenting app), a maximum frequency, and a topic list (logistics only, no relationship issues). In severe cases, courts will order communication to go through a parenting coordinator or attorney. Document everything — screenshots, app records, dates and times.
Three filled-in sample parenting plans with the actual provisions written out.
Right of first refusal (sometimes called "first right of refusal custody") is a clause that says if a parent can't be with the kids for more than X hours during their parenting time, the other parent gets the option before a babysitter, grandparent, or daycare does.
Decision-making authority is the section of the parenting plan that says who decides what — medical care, school choice, religious upbringing, mental health treatment, extracurriculars. This is what "legal custody" actually means.
The exchange section says exactly when, where, and how the kids move between households. The most common-sense thing to write down — and the most common source of fights when it isn't.
Where the kids can travel, who has to consent, and what happens when one parent wants to move — these are the highest-stakes provisions in any parenting plan because relocation can effectively end a 50/50 schedule.