Most coparenting conflict spikes in November and December. Whose Thanksgiving? Whose Christmas Eve? Whose Christmas Day? Holiday provisions in the parenting plan settle these questions years in advance — once, in writing, when both parents are calm.
The holiday and special-day section of a parenting plan lists every major holiday and assigns it to one parent (or splits it) on a rotating annual basis. Holidays always override the regular schedule. The same section also handles school breaks (winter, spring, summer), three-day weekends, and birthdays — both the kids' and the parents'.
Most plans use an even-year/odd-year alternation: in even years, Parent A gets Thanksgiving and Parent B gets Christmas Eve; in odd years, they switch. Some holidays (Mother's Day, Father's Day, kids' birthdays) are fixed regardless of the year. School breaks are usually split — half of winter break to each parent, summer divided into 2-week or 1-month blocks. The plan specifies the start and end times of each holiday period (often "6 PM the night before to 6 PM the night of" rather than just the date, so the actual exchange time is unambiguous).
When you draft this section of your parenting plan, make sure it covers each of these points. Skipping any of them is the most common reason this clause becomes a source of conflict later.
Start with the custody schedule — the foundation every other section builds on. Kidtime’s free wizard covers it in minutes.
The most common pattern is alternation: Parent A gets Christmas Eve in even years and Christmas Day in odd years; Parent B gets the opposite. Some families split each day in half (Christmas morning with one parent, Christmas afternoon and evening with the other). Long-distance plans usually do whole days rather than splits because the travel time eats up the day. Whichever pattern, write the start and end times to the hour.
Three common patterns: (1) extended block — each parent gets a 2-, 3-, or 4-week consecutive block of uninterrupted time; (2) alternating weeks — the regular schedule is replaced with simple week-on, week-off through the summer; (3) modified regular schedule — kids continue the regular schedule but with longer transition gaps. Long-distance plans almost always use option 1 because it justifies the travel.
Three common patterns: (1) alternate years — kids' birthday with Parent A in even years, Parent B in odd; (2) the birthday goes to whichever parent has the kids that day under the regular schedule, with the other parent getting a separate "birthday celebration" within a week; (3) split each birthday — half-day with each parent. Long-distance plans usually use option 2 or 3.
Almost always, yes — that's the whole point of having a holiday section. The regular schedule resumes the day after the holiday's end time. Some plans handle the resumption explicitly ("the regular schedule resumes at 6 PM on December 26"); others rely on the regular schedule's natural rhythm to take over. The cleanest plans are explicit so there's no question.
Right of first refusal (sometimes called "first right of refusal custody") is a clause that says if a parent can't be with the kids for more than X hours during their parenting time, the other parent gets the option before a babysitter, grandparent, or daycare does.
Decision-making authority is the section of the parenting plan that says who decides what — medical care, school choice, religious upbringing, mental health treatment, extracurriculars. This is what "legal custody" actually means.
How and how often coparents communicate — and what they communicate about — is one of the most-fought-over parts of any parenting plan. Writing it down prevents 80% of those fights before they start.
The exchange section says exactly when, where, and how the kids move between households. The most common-sense thing to write down — and the most common source of fights when it isn't.
Kidtime's free schedule wizard covers the most-negotiated section of any plan.